


What Could've Been

by ilivelikethissorry



Category: youtube - Fandom, 乐华七子NEXT | NEX7, 偶像练习生 | Idol Producer (TV), 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: Crack, M/M, livin good
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-19
Updated: 2018-07-19
Packaged: 2019-06-13 05:32:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,473
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15357348
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ilivelikethissorry/pseuds/ilivelikethissorry
Summary: James is filming his new challenge video, but a certain Ding Zeren catches his eye.





	What Could've Been

**Author's Note:**

> do i feel sorry ? yea . but only bc ion kno how to write follow twt user dngzeren and also miss twt user eternalfools my counterpart a man stayed up to 7am to write this nyway stan 88rising artists head in the clouds drops 12am everywhere here we go

"Hey sisters!" James greets his subscribers with his oh-so-familiar intro.

"Yeeehawww!! Today we got ourself a challenge video! So I've created the  _'Search yourself on Twitter challenge'!_  Basically all you've gotta do is search yourself and look at what people tweet about you! My wig! It's gone! Anyway I tag my queen CrankThatFrank. Let's see what you lovelies say about me!"

James opens Twitter and begins to scroll through the 'James Charles' tag, expecting messages from his beloved fans, as well as the occasional local mention.

Suddenly, he sees something that makes his eyes light up. A picture of 2 men wearing makeup as white as that meme of him he thinks should've been exhausted years ago. To be honest, when he saw the tweet, he was a little hurt and annoyed by how it kept coming up, but as he settled his eyes on an unfamiliar face, he began to feel something he hadn't felt in years.

He raked his eyes over what he could see in the picture. The luscious dark brown hair that fell around the man's bandana in ringlets so beautiful he believed not even himself capable of recreating them. The man's face was so white, like a pale snowy day... just the way he liked it. James became to feel sweaty, both cold and hot at the same time.

Forgetting about the camera and the fact that his likes were public, he hastily liked the tweet by @eternalfools and liked the reply that led him to this picture so beautiful he couldn't fathom, silently thanking twitter users @eternalfools and @dngzeren.

' _Fuck_ ' He thought, remembering that he was supposed to be filming a video. He quickly put on his camera face again and continued the video in a joyous, upbeat tone similar to the rest of his videos, editing out the whole scenario that made his heart flutter.

~~~

The day after uploading the video, James logged onto Twitter to see the reaction. He almost forgot about the tweet that shook him to the core, despite dreaming about the mystery man all night.

He poured himself a cup of aromatic coffee, wondering about the whole experience. Sitting down at the oak table in front of him, he scrolls through twitter again, occasionally replying to his fans and reading his replies.

"Some people just won't stop with this bullshit. Why do people keep hating on me? I haven't done anything wrong.... all y'all just love picking on me or something.... this is getting out of hand." He complains aloud.

"...What if I did something that could take my mind off things...."

Pondering for a moment, his focus returned back onto the picture that he had secretly bookmarked the day before. Suddenly, he had an idea.

He could ask his followers who the man was.

Without stopping a beat, James opened the tweet function and began typing.

_'to anyone who recognizes this man... can any of yall tell me his name? thanks sisters xx'_

He attaches the photo and hits tweet.

Replies come pouring in moments later, and not quite to his surprised, most of them are jokes.

' _he looks as white as u lmfaoooooo',_ One user tweets.

 _'r u back on ur kpop bullshit or what. stan loona'_ , Another reads.

Scrolling further through his mentions... he finally lays his eyes on the one.

' _KDHDJJDDJ ITS DING ZEREN FROM CPOP GROUP NEX7 THANK ME LATER_ ', comments twitter user @dngzeren. He recognizes this username and suddenly it all makes sense.

"Cpop? What's that?" He thinks aloud to himself yet again.

Opening his Macbook, he hastily searched the term cpop to find that it's chinese pop music.

"Omg, another kpop for me to stan? Wig!"

Almost immediately, he finds himself typing  _ding zeren_  into the search bar. Surprisingly, it doesn't yield many results, but from what he sees, it's entirely possible this is the man he's been looking for for most of his life.

"Oh my fucking god.... I can't believe it. He's so  _wow_....who IS he...?"

~~~

Days had passed, but much had changed in those last few days. His videos seemed to be more fidgety, his personality falling into dazes even during filming. He knows why. To be honest, all his twitter followers know why too, in fact, his love for Ding Zeren had been trending on social media in the recent days.

Though none of this comes as a surprise. His twitter is full of tweets mentioning the new man that he found. Chocolatey brown swirls and all... those deep eyes especially.

What surprised him most was his agent texting him a quick message.

_'james... u've made it to china wtf u were trending on weibo ? wtf whos this zeren guy u should get with him i heard hes popular imagine how much $$$ youll get off a scandal with him fuck shkfshdkf oh my god girl'_

He scanned over the message, but for some reason, a boiling anger had risen in his soul.

"How much money I'll get? Uhhh.... fuck that. I'm in it for him. I mean.... the money is a plus but we all know how fine those asian boys are. You know.... oh fuck. Now that I look at him... he kinda looks like Min Yoongi. And Jungkook.... And even sort of like Namjoon. Oh my god he looks like all of BTS I can't believe this I'm winning!"

The sudden realization got him urging himself to tweet about Zeren again. He typed ' _english to chinese_ ' in the search bar and entered a quick ' _i love you_ '.

Opening the tweet function again, he typed his message, attaching a few pictures of Zeren.

' _Zeren oppa... wo ai ni._ 我爱你！' The tweet read.

He tapped tweet and waited for the responses to come flooding in.

He froze, feeling a thin sheen of sweat forming above his undone brows.

What caught his attention wasn't the boatload of clowning he got, but a notification he got in the corner of his macbook.

_'u've hit it big in china lmfao !!!!!!!!!!! zerens agent just contacted me and asked for ur number fuck ur famous in china what the fuck bithc oh my god'_

His heart was racing. He couldn't believe it was happening. Ding Zeren? Wanting his number? Even if it was just his agent.... It means he'd be able to have direct contact with Zeren!

But behind all the thoughts rushing through his mind, a few got to him specifically. What if Zeren only spoke Korean?  _Then_  what would he do?

' _Fuck it. Love surpasses nationality. If language is a barrier then call me alone for the rest of my life. I can make do. I'll get a translator, hell I'll even use the google translate conversation feature. Anything for my oppar.'_  He thought to himself.

~~~

It was a Wednesday when he got the message. He was supposed to go to some magazine for an interview, but his plans all changed when he got a text that morning.

' _Hello. It is Zeren_ 丁泽仁 _. Sorry if this translation is very bad. I am using wechat translate for this text.I just wanted to say that I am sort of interested in meeting you James-ge. Thursday, I am going be in Shanghai, I want to know will come ? Meet me please? Heihei.'_

And in that moment, not a single thought in James' brain said no.

Next thing he knew, he was on a flight to Shanghai, China.

He arrived at Shanghai Pudong International Airport at 8:30pm.... Too late to meet Zeren. As soon as he touched down he opened the wechat app he had just made an account for and texted Zeren quickly.

' _Zeren oppa...._ 我很迟到。。。对不起。 _'_

A reply came in almost immediately.

' _It's okay James. You can type in English. I have an translator. Please, come meet me anyway. It's too late to go to where I wished to take you, tonight you can still come to my hotel room.'_

And just like that, he knew it was over for him. Zeren was.... inviting him to his hotel? He knows how this usually ends. His chest was on fire, he was terrified of what was to come. He couldn't speak a lick of chinese so he couldn't even buy anything to prepare himself. He just hoped Zeren knew what he was doing.

Forcing away the jetlag he felt, he managed to hail a taxi and give the driver the address.

"谢谢，大哥。你很苦。 _"_  He told the driver, hoping it meant what he wanted.

He had  _History_  by Rich Brian playing through his airpods on repeat. He stared out the window, amazed by the highway that lit up a neon blue colour. This city was amazing.... His mind wandered to how he could settle down here one day, hopefully with his Zeren-ge.

An hour later, he found himself at the destination.

 _"_ 又谢谢一边，大哥哥先生。我爱你。么么哒。" He yelled to the driver over the loud clamour of the city as he stepped out of the taxi. The driver looked as if he was about to cry, and for the first time that day, James felt confident. His words were so powerful and his chinese was progressing at such an amazing rate that he had moved the driver to tears.

The driver sped off and James turned to face the grand hotel in front of him. He took a deep breath and stepped in. It was pretty loud and boisterous for 10pm.

He walked up to the lady at the counter and said the line he had been practising in his head the whole taxi ride.

 _"_ 我想去205号房间。请让我这样做。我想见到我的男朋友。谢谢姑娘姐姐。小姐我爱你。 _"_

The lady looked perplexed, but James couldn't figure out why. With an understanding yet clearly blank look, she gave him a hotel key for room 205.

 _"_ 好吧，请跟著她走。Enjoy your stay, sir." The lady said to him. He couldn't understand a word she said but nodded his head in gratitude. He bowed a full 90° and said a quick thank you in chinese.

He followed the lady who had tapped him in on the shoulder, assuming she was to lead him to his room. His heart was racing and his mind was on fire due to the possibilities. Before he knew it, he stood outside room 205.

Palms sweaty and fidgety, he pushed the key into the keyhole, turning the door handle.

And there he was.

He was more beautiful in real life. As soon as he saw him he was breathless. It was as if time had stopped for a moment.

"Z-Zeren Oppa.....ah fuck . I mean Zeren gege...." He stuttered.

Zeren got out his phone and typed something in quickly, clicking his tongue once he was satisfied with the result.

 _"_ I am smaller than you. Please can you call me " Zeren said in the voice James had dreamed about for days.

"A-ah, your voice. It's very 美." James said with an air of confidence.

Zeren looked confused but the soft expression on his face made it all okay.

" _Come.... Sit_." Zeren said in his honey covered voice.

James watched as Zeren took a seat on the bed. Stuttering, James replied.

" _Sit? Where?"_

The shorter man chuckled, commenting as if it cleared up the situation. He waved his hand towards him.

" _Here. Please come here. Heihei_." He smiled.

James took a deep breath and headed towards Zeren. Did he mean sit on the bed? On the floor? His lap? This was all too much for James, so much that he almost started to tear up.

Zeren took notice and whispered a sentence James could not understand.

"宝宝，没事儿没事儿。 _Come here_."

James calmed himself down and sat down in his lap, causing Zeren to jump.

" _A-ah. Uh_..." Zeren stuttered.

"What's the problem Gege?" James said to him, lash extensions blinking up to see him.

 _"N-nothing. Just.... Bony. Bones. You eat a lot? Please eat more, James_ 哥 _."_ Zeren breathed out, looking somewhat uncomfortable.

James thanked him for the concern, yet was still perplexed as to what he was talking about. Suddenly, he said what he'd been waiting to say all night.

" _Zeren._ 我。爱。你。你想吃我吗？我想要你的鸡巴。" He asked in his lowest, huskiest tone.

The perspiration on Zeren's brow became more apparent as the seconds past.

Zeren opened his mouth to speak. James sat patiently awaiting his reply.

Suddenly, the hotel room door slammed open.

The two were so surprised both of them had let out a small noise. They stood up immediately, but it was too late. They were caught.

"Zeren? Who's this caspar lookin ass? He's so damn white looks like he finna call a california roll exotic! Y'all letting americans in your rooms now ? Just look at this! He's wearing his shoes in your  _carpet_!" Bellowed the mysterious man in perfect english.

Zeren was at a loss of words, eyes flickering between the man and James.

As James came to his sense, he focused more clearly on the man in the doorframe. He recognized his face somewhere.

It was Park Jimin.

James was so shellshocked he couldn't speak. Who should he speak for? His idol or his boyfriend-to-be? And what was going on?

Zeren cleared his throat and spoke, breaking the deafening silence.

"I am so sorry Jimin. I don't know who this caspar lookin ass is." He timidly spoke, clearly enunciating his words as Jimin did.

Jimin huffed out in annoyance.

"Great, just great. Come on, Zeren. We have to talk." The kpop idol replied.

Jimin held his hand out, signalling for Zeren to grab onto it.

James' lip quivered as he tried to find his words, holding his hand out as well as Zeren walked by.

Their fingertips brushed across eachother, but as James shivered Zeren didn't look back.

He watched as Jimin left the room, hand in hand with the man he had loved. The man on his mind for the past few weeks. The one that first grabbed him with his beautiful eyes. His beautiful face. His everything.

The door closed with a click, and James was left in the room, heart completely and utterly shattered.

He wondered what could've been, thinking back to the time where he had imagined settling down in this big city with just him and Zeren.

It was his mistake thinking the two of them could make it by themselves, not caring about what anyone said. It was his mistake, as always.

Tears falling onto the shaggy carpet, he shakily reached for his phone. He connected his vpn and opened the twitter app.

Opening the tweet function one more time, he typed out his message.

' _please say sike. i will always remember the time i first saw your beautiful features on my tl. ill wait for you, my love_.'

He flopped backwards on the bed, letting his phone fall to the ground.

"我爱你。" He whimpered, cherishing the smell of Zeren left in the sheets.

**Author's Note:**

> yall better be listening to history by rich brian tonight  
> 


End file.
